North American Bald Eagles are incensed to be called American Bald Eagles. "We have no partisanship" says one Bald Eagle named Harry, who lives in Serpentine Fen. "It's a case of the United States thinking that they have ownership over us. Next thing they'll do is imply that we are part of their tax base. How do you put a figure on the number of rats and the latest dead carcass that we consume and what sort of tax form do I fill out and send in? Hell, I don't even have fingers, damn it!?" He looked off to the side and gave me a gimlet stare with one of his eyes "I'm sorry, but I'm Canadian. I was born and raised in Serpentine Fen and haven't ever been across the border. I have no idea why the United States would think that I'm part of their own and pay taxes to the IRS? That's absolutely f*ng ridiculous!" At that Harry gives off a resounding snap of his beak in annoyance.
Harry looks over at the Canada Geese milling around aimlessly on the pond a few meters over. "Snowbirds" he mutters disgustedly. "The IRS should take a look at those bastards. They spend six months out of the year in the United States munching on US resources, flying in US skies. Hell they even down US planes for heaven's sake. At least they're using resources in the United States. We don't use a single piece of vermin in the US and we get taxed. We hunt, kill and feed our young all up here in Canada. Our lives are spent up here and the United States wants to tax us? Are they kidding me? I talked about it with Ma and Pa in White Rock and Mom n'Pop in Green Timbers, y'know, friends of mine, and they're telling me that extraterritorial taxation is a crock of shit. Hell, I'm not going to pay it." Harry says. "It's not a fair tax and Obama can go kiss my feathered ass!"
Harry snorted contemptuously as he looked around trying to see if there were any crows present. "Those bastards will rat you out." he said. "You hear about that amnesty program, called OVDP?" he said with a disgusted look "One of my buddies over by the Delta Dump went into that. He got taken for a ride. They wanted tax returns from 6 years back and to admit that he was guilty of tax fraud because he didn't claim 66,000 rats taken last year. He didn't know he was supposed file that stupid piece of paper called an FBAR."
"Lil' Chucky", Harry grumbled. "He got away with his villa in the Dominican Republic.", "James..." he said. "...the list goes on. These bastards get to shill for the tax paying public and get away scot free when they evade taxes. It's a mother lode of bullshit." Harry said as he preened his feathers. "And they're coming after the small guys like us. Well...I can't wait until I get classified as a Canadian Bald Eagle..." he paused for a moment.
"Well...did you know that Canada signed an IGA with the United States on February 5th, 2014?" I asked him.
"Bloody Fucking Hell!!" Harry swore vehemently. "Maybe I need to ask my friend Boris, he's a Eurasian golden eagle, if he's got a place I can crash at for the next forty years."
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